Hi,
I was meditating the other day. At first everything felt calm, like I’d finally managed to turn the noise down. But after a few minutes, a memory slipped in.
It was my last birthday. My sister leaned over the cake, candles flickering against her face, and tried to make me laugh with the same joke three times in a row. My brother sat across from me, tapping the table like he was trying to keep time with something that wasn’t there. The room had this strange pause in it, the kind you can’t fill no matter how hard you try.
That pause was my mom. Birthdays used to start and end with her singing. That year the song never came, and the space where it should have been was sharper than the flame on the candles.
When I came out of meditation, I realized I’d been carrying that moment ever since. Not the whole day, just the tiny details: the joke that almost landed, the tapping fingers, the missing song. And that’s when this poem came.
Poem:
The Things We Carry
Some unprocessed or suppressed emotions don’t feel heavy
until someone asks you to name them.
And suddenly
you feel the years
you’ve been holding your breath
for people who never noticed.
The apology you practiced
but never gave.
The goodbye
you whispered into pillows.
The dream
you outgrew
while everyone clapped for your survival.
And maybe healing
isn’t about letting go.
It’s learning how to walk
with what you still feel.
Without shame.
Without rush.
Not lighter.
But softer.
I think healing isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about carrying it differently. Some memories never leave, but they don’t have to harden you. They can soften instead.
What about you, what’s something you’ve carried that still lingers with you?
Talk soon,
Poems I’ll Never Post
Illustrations by Hollywarbs
✨ P.S. This piece is one of the reasons I started putting together my upcoming book Tears of the Soul. It’s a collection of poems that sit with love, heartbreak, healing, and memory in ways I’ve never shared online.
You can order it here: https://getbook.to/TearsOfTheSoul.
If you do grab a copy, DM me with “I got the book!” and send me a photo or post it on your story. I’d love to share it back on my page.
Tears Of The Soul
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